Embrace the Gospel and Swim in Murky Water
The following are “notes from my notes” regarding a sermon we listened to online through Cornwall Community Church on the last Sunday of December. Kip McCormick, one of the pastors, is a great spiritual leader and Lynn appreciates the relationship and the conversations that he has had with him.
The message was from the (little) Book of Philemon.
A few years ago, Kip ([retired] military, much of it spent in Special Forces) received a bizarre email from a company commander that he had back in the 1980’s. Kip was a North Korea Analyst for the last 10 years of his career. The commander had been contacted by a woman that was putting together talking points for President Trump’s meeting with Kim Jong Un. Since the conversation would be unclassified, Kip agreed to it. At the end of what was a great conversation, she asked him: “If you could say anything, and I mean anything, to Trump about his upcoming meeting with Kim, what would you say?”
This was his response:
Over the past few decades we have been doing the same thing with different results, taking one of two courses: (1) Cold War mentality, sanctions, using force with force. It worked pretty well. Or (2) Kim now has nuclear capability, so there are now hawks that want to ‘take him out’ which would result in deaths or the possibility of war. But what about a third option? (3) Keep the Cold War mentality but add diplomacy at the highest level, including meetings with Kim and President Trump.
Kip shared this to ask a question. Too often in life we approach a problem with an “either or” or one of two options … (such as Republican or Democrat) when in reality there is a third and messy tough option … but it’s a right one. The “either or,” or two options are legalistic, “us for, no more,” or grace, but a watered down gospel for fear of offending. A third option is what God is calling us as a church to follow. Embrace the gospel and swim in murky waters. It’s all about relationships …. and they are TOUGH. Biblical truth should never divorce itself from Biblical LOVE.
THE LETTER
The Book of Philemon is a letter from Paul to Philemon (whose name means loving or friendly) described by Paul as a “fellow worker.” The letter was also sent to Philemon’s wife (who probably managed the money and the slaves) and to the church that met in their home (which was customary at the time). And … of course the letter was also written to US as it is part of God’s Word. It was written approximately 30 years after the death of Christ, while Paul was in prison.
Paul had been visited by Onesimus, a runaway slave from his Master Philemon. Onesimus ends up in Rome, where historically slaves could roam free. Onesimus visits Paul, where he is converted. It starts out:
Philemon 1:1-2> To Philemon our dear friend and fellow worker— 2 also to Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier—and to the church that meets in your home:
Paul’s letter to Philemon is all about counterculture! Slavery was universal at that time. Slaves of all levels, slaves working for slaves, slaves buying their freedom. Slave owners could do anything they wanted to do to their slaves. If a slave ran off, owners could “file a report.” Once they were found, the owners could reinstate them, torture them, or kill them. (So it’s wrong for us to use a teleological approach by applying what happened 2000 years ago to what is currently going on).
Paul writes, “I am sending Onesimus back to you.” Onesimus and Paul are tight. But Paul wouldn’t do anything without Philemon’s consent, since Onesimus was Philemon’s runaway slave. Paul wanted to keep Onesimus so he could be useful to him, but needed Philemon’s permission. Onesimus had to take a risk going back to Philemon and Paul was also risking as he didn’t know how Philemon would react.
Onesemus’ name means USEFUL or BENEFICIAL. Philemon’s name means One Who Is KIND. Paul remembers this as he composes his plea.
The letter starts with the word “GRACE.”
Philemon 1:3 > Grace and peace to you[a] from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Phelemon appears to be a good guy. Paul calls him brother. So by all accounts Phelemon is doing what Jesus tells us to do. (In the following scriptures, Paul is preparing Philemon to accept his plea regarding Onesemus).
Philemon 1:4-7 > I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, 5 because I hear about your love for all his holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus. 6 I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective in deepening your understanding of every good thing we share for the sake of Christ. 7 Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.
Paul then appeals on the basis of love for his SON Onesimus “who became my son while I was in chains.”
Philemon 1:8-11 > 8 Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, 9 yet I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love. It is as none other than Paul—an old man and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus— 10 that I appeal to you for my son Onesimus,[b] who became my son while I was in chains. 11 Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me.
Philemon 1:12-16 > 12 I am sending him—who is my very heart—back to you. 13 I would have liked to keep him with me so that he could take your place in helping me while I am in chains for the gospel. 14 But I did not want to do anything without your consent, so that any favor you do would not seem forced but would be voluntary. 15 Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever— 16 no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord.
Philemon 1:17-21 > 17 So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. 18 If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me. 19 I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand. I will pay it back—not to mention that you owe me your very self. 20 I do wish, brother, that I may have some benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. 21 Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I ask.
Paul’s letter spells out his reasoning as to what happened to Onesimus and what makes Onesimus different as he goes back to Philemon. Onesimus is now more USEFUL to both of them. Formally he was useless to Philemon, but now he has become USEFUL to him and to Paul. (Remember Onesimus’ name means USEFUL. Philemon’s name means “one who is KIND“). So Philemon, please live up to your name meaning “BE KIND.’
But Onesimus has to “own his junk”, and admit he stole, since he was now a brother of Christ. Paul implores Philemon to receive him not as a slave, because he is now coming back as an EQUAL (unheard of in this slave-present culture at the time). In his approach to Philemon, Paul is transforming the whole slavery institution from the inside out. Philemon could answer by saying that he didn’t care, and kill Onesimus, as was his “right” at the time.
But Paul says, “if you consider me a partner, WELCOME him as you would WELCOME me.” He is imploring him to be KIND. Open his heart for Onesimus as Philemon would open it for Paul. Paul authenticates by saying he will pay any of Onesimus’ debts and therefore “Paul will pay the price.” It takes more than LOVE to solve a problem. LOVE must pay a price.
OUR STORY
Our story is showing up in this gospel story. Philemon is a good master that has a slave that steals money and runs away. There is a quandry and Philemon needs an intermediary to settle things, so Paul steps in to settle the price. This is the same as us having sin and needing a mediator, which for us is Jesus. He pays our price and our sin is on his shoulders. Jesus pays the price IN FULL. Paul accepted Onesimus just where he was. Such a great letter!
Recall that Onesimus’ name means USEFUL (BENEFICIAL). Paul uses the word BENEFIT in verse 21. “Welcome as you would welcome me but I’m asking you to do even more than that.” Paul is asking Philemon to go the extra mile, set him free, and EXERCISE THE THIRD OPTION. This will be hard, as many will be upset with Philemon for going against the culture and norms regarding slavery.
And then Paul says that he hopes to be released, at which time he will come to stay with Philemon. During these times, hosts were required to go above and beyond for their guests.
Philemon 1:22 > 22 And one thing more: Prepare a guest room for me, because I hope to be restored to you in answer to your prayers.
Paul had genuine relationships with people. Their stories mattered because he loved them. His disciples ALL had stories.
Philemon 1:23-24 > 23 Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends you greetings. 24 And so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas and Luke, my fellow workers.
And then Paul concludes … ending with the word GRACE:
Philemon 1:25 > 25 The GRACE of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.
SO HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO OUR LIVES?
KIND means to do the tough right thing when no one is looking, as opposed to NICE, which means taking care of one’s backside, with a desire to get something from someone.
COURAGE is speaking truth rather than speaking behind their back, rather than FLATTERY, which is saying something with a personal motive (in other words, lying)
The Third Option requires us to be KIND and COURAGEOUS. If you screw up you own it. You don’t shift the blame to others. Speak tough truth to others. Tell the truth, such as “maybe things will be worse before they are better but I will walk you through it.” Or, talk to others face to face rather than going to their boss and asking him to fix it. Do the tough right thing even when it could cost you greatly.
Three words: Acceptance precedes obedience. Paul receives Onesimus and then points him to Christ. Onesimus is obedient. He is going back to Philemon as he knows he should.
The opposite of this is Obedience precedes acceptance. This is legalism. Legalism is poison as people are beat up with words. Biblical truth and Biblical love are joined together. We have to declare war with legalism! It is a poison. It’s a war between Legalism VS grace: “I’m good because of what I do” against “I’m good because of what Christ has done. “ Legalism focuses on behavior; grace is on the heart. Legalism leads to arrogance, pride and self righteousness. Grace is love and acceptance. We need to accept people right where they are. Sometimes people just need a safe place to be. It’s about a wide table and living with a mess on top of a wide table. Allow the Holy Spirit to work in people’s lives. It’s hard …. But we all have stories.
There are six ways we can live in the mess and beauty of a wide table:
Share your story as you point to the greatest story of Jesus.
1. Embrace the tension. They are going to believe differently than you. Offer friendship.
2. Be humble as Jesus was humble. It’s a level playing field in front of that cross.
Lead with love, not your theology. Give God room to work.
3. Listen to the other person’s story. We each have one. Get to know them!
4. Maintain the relationship without trying to fix them! That is way above our pay grade.
A Postscript
Sometime later Paul wrote another letter to the Brothers in Colosse (The Book of Colossians). In his final greeting, he writes:
Colossians 4:7-9 > He is coming with Onesimus, our faithful and dear brother, who is one of you. They will tell you everything that is happening here.
Could it be that the runaway slave Onesimus was released on the spot when he met with Philemon because Paul embraced Option Number 3?
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